


Painkiller

by Tulkika (Zairafuana)



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Vinsmoke Sanji, Crew as Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Gentle Zoro, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Graphic Dub-Con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Time Skip, References to Sanji's injury on Drum Island, Relatively Sanji-centric, asexual!Luffy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2019-11-06 22:53:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zairafuana/pseuds/Tulkika
Summary: Post-Drum Island, Pre-ArabastaSanji suffers a rude sexual awakening when he decides to trade sex for the wellbeing of his nakama to some marines. The experience leaves him shaken and on the verge of breaking. Now, the crew must deal with the emotional consequences of his decision. He finds unlikely comfort in the crew's swordsman as he tries to deal with what happened to him and gets invited into a love he never would have considered.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! 
> 
> I have not written a One Piece fic in... *looks at really old FF.net account* .... About 12 years! It's been a long fucking time. Everyone may be out of character, we will see.
> 
> Anyways, I'm rewatching the series and getting caught up (I stopped in the mid-400s). which is why I am basing this in pre-timeskip. Also, I just really wanted Nami and Vivi to be together.
> 
> So, please join me as I torment the characters I love! Comments always encourage me to write. ^^
> 
> P.S. For my own comfort, Luffy is just barely 18 for this fic.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing

Sanji couldn’t believe that this was happening. 

They were all worn from the events at Drum Island. Nami was still recovering, Luffy was still exhausted from his climb up the mountain, and Sanji’s back was killing him. What was worse, Chopper said no fighting for another week or it could damage the cook’s spine permanently.

And then this had to happen…

No one had expected to be intercepted by a floating marine base. The resulting chaos happened so fast afterward that Sanji didn’t even remember exactly how they got on the base. The crew got separated into two groups and were trying to make their way back to the Merry.

Their group ended up getting surrounded. Sanji could remember feeling agitated and anxious as Nami held him back from fighting. Luffy and Chopper gave their best but it hadn’t been enough. During the fight, the two power users were ambushed and shackled. They should have been able to break free but the guards informed them that the cuffs were sea stone prism. The team was quickly defeated and captured.

That left them in their current situation.

Sanji gritted his teeth angrily as his hands clenched the bars of their cell. He swallowed thickly and looked back behind him. His captain, drained of energy from the cuffs, lay slumped in the corner. Nami held Chopper for both comfort and protection.

Sanji wanted to go to them. To hold her and Chopper, to tell them that he would protect them. But how could he promise that when just standing was painful?

He could only pray that Vivi and Usopp were safe. But, they had to be! None of them were hurt or power users. Plus, they had that thick-headed marimo with them. He knew that Zoro would give his life to protect the crew.

So, why couldn’t Sanji give something almost as valuable?

He sighed tiredly as he rested his head against the bars. He scrunched up his face in disgust and determination as he drew a shaky breath. This couldn’t be this hard right? Women did it all the time. 

“Sanji-kun, what’s wrong?” Nami asked softly from the back of the dark cell. She had Luffy’s head on her lap and Chopper cradled in her arms. She was scared but trying to hide it for Chopper’s sake.

“Nothing at all, Nami-san.” Sanji replied softly but it lacked the usual overzealous excitement. He was just too emotionally exhausted to try. And he knew that scared Nami most of all. “Don’t worry about a thing.”

The blond’s hands shook as he released the cell bars. He swallowed convulsively as he moved his fingers to his tie, starting to loosen it. He tried not to think about the others in the cell, they would make it too hard for him to do this.

“Oi! Guard!” He called out gruffly as he wiggled out of his suit jacket. He was glad that they hadn’t shackled him. It would have made this more difficult.

“Sanji-kun?” Nami asked softly, confusion in her voice as she watched him.

“Sanji?” Sanji flinched when he heard Luffy call his name. Sanji forced himself to ignore their questioning tone. He simply stood tall and undid the top two buttons on his shirt.

“Nami-san, please use this to cover Chopper. He looks cold.” Sanji turned to them and smiled softly, offering his coat to Nami. His heart pounded as he watched her eyes narrow as she took in his loosened appearance.

They both knew his request was ridiculous. Sure it was chilly in this cell but they both knew that Chopper was the one best suited for it. He was used to living in the snow. A bit of cold stone wouldn’t bother him in the least.

“Sanji-kun.” Nami’s tone was full of warning. She was taking in all the aspects of his appearance and didn’t like the picture it was giving her. “Don’t.”

Usually, an order from her was enough to stop him in his tracks. This time though, they were both surprised as he ignored her. His determination was too high to falter.

He turned back towards the bars, stomach dropping as he saw the guard heading towards the cell. Sanji swallowed thickly to settle his frayed nerves. This was his first time doing it but how hard could it be?

Everyone called him a pervert and attention whore. He knew he was one. So, what damage did it do if “slut” was added to the list of slurs?

He knew what assets he had. He had never been called handsome in his life. He was always pretty. Perhaps that’s where his obsession with masculinity came from. But, it wouldn’t matter anymore after this.

He would never live this down. Especially once that shitty swordsman found out he willingly spread his legs like a common whore. But, what else could Sanji do?

He couldn’t start a full-on assault without paralyzing himself. He needed to get his legs close to those guards without being obvious. He couldn’t risk his hands.

He could stay on Merry if his legs were paralyzed but not if he could no longer cook.

“Don’t do this,” Nami growled warningly as she covered Chopper with the cook’s jacket. She clung to the tiny reindeer with one arm as her free hand moved the straw hat over Luffy’s face.

“Close your eyes.” Was Sanji’s only reply as he leaned against the bars, taking an alluring pose. He turned his gaze soft as he caught the guard’s eye. He beckoned the man over and grinned invitingly. He knew a person in need of a good fuck when he saw one. People watching had always been a hobby of his.

As the guard drew close, Sanji made his voice soft and low so Nami could not hear. The cook felt triumphant when the guard fell for the exchange of sex for a good meal ploy. When someone was starving for so something, they took any chance they had to get it. 

And this guard’s hunger was intense.

~*~z~*~

Nami felt cold inside, sickness clawing at her belly. Tears clung to her soft lashes as she kept her eyes shut. Her trembling hands pressed over Chopper’s little ears, blocking as much sound as she could manage.

She had made the mistake earlier of opening her eyes, breaking Sanji’s only demand. The image of their cook on his back with a guard between his legs would be forever burned into her mind. She had put together the pieces of his plan and watched it be foiled as the first guard was joined by two others.

She quickly snapped her eyes shut but the sound of the blond’s discomfort rang in her ears. She wanted to cry. Wished she had fought harder earlier but she had been scared. She only had her staff. What could she possibly have done?!

_ Anything was better than letting this happen, you useless bitch! _

She hated herself. God, she was so useless! How could she have let him go through with this?! Why hadn’t she tried harder to stop him?!

Beside her, she could hear the sound of Luffy angrily dragging his short nails over the stone floor. She could hear him struggle against the stone cuffs but it was useless. He was confused and angry and powerless. 

Nami knew the feeling well.

In that second, she heard something that she wished she hadn’t. The sound of Sanji hitting an unwanted climax would haunt her for eternity. Even more so than the jeering laughter that followed. 

If she wasn’t holding Chopper in her arms, Nami was sure she would have freely vomited right then and there. Instead, she just clung harder to the tiny doctor. She couldn’t hold back her tears any longer.

A sob caught in her throat as the laughter was cut short by the sound of someone gurgling and choking for air.

Fear made her eyes snap open and she looked up in time to see the cook pull his foot away from where it had slammed into the guard’s throat. The guard collapsed hard as the other two advanced on the blond. Nami could only watch in awe as he made short work of the two now exhausted and lethargic guards.

The navigator couldn’t look away as the cook painfully climbed off the table and started to pull his slacks back on. The stiffness and obvious pain in his movements only made her feel sicker. More tears dripped down her cheeks as he started to limp towards the cell.

Her heart officially broke when he smiled brightly, ring of keys held aloft.

“Time to leave, Nami-san.” He called to her softly but his gaze never met hers as he started to unlock the cell.

Nami knew this was something that would just fester under his skin because he would never speak of it.


	2. Chapter 2

The group didn’t talk about what had just happened. They all tried to ignore how the cook limped heavily with each step. Luffy was practically glued to Sanji’s side, anger rolling off of him in waves. He was angry that Sanji had to rescue them like that.

Luffy had never had sex, it didn’t interest him, but he knew the fundamentals. He also knew the fundamentals of reluctant willingness and true consent. He knew what had just happened was not right. This knowledge echoed through the stiff way he held his body, nerves bunched up with anger.

Sanji was not okay. They could all see it in how his hands shook. He desperately tried to light a cigarette but his hands were trembling too much for it to actually take. His eyes widened in horror as his captain took the match from him and lit the cigarette for him. The cook whispered a thank you but was unable to look the younger boy in the eye.

The blond let out a startled squeak as he was suddenly scooped up from behind. He raggedly gasped for air as he looked behind him. He was instantly relieved and humiliated to see Chopper carrying him in Heavy Point. He had to admit it was nice to take a break from walking, everything under his ribs hurt.

Still, the cook’s face was a deep red. He knew that Chopper could smell it on him. All the cum and filth that Sanji had been unable to get rid of before getting dressed. He knew that his slacks were ruined. If he didn’t like the fit of the suit jacket so much, he would probably burn the slacks.

He still might.

“Oi, Luffy! Guys!” The call of Usopp’s voice startled Sanji. Without realizing it, he started to cower in Chopper’s arms. What would Usopp and Zoro say once they knew? Would Vivi even look at him anymore? 

A princess shouldn’t have a whore for a cook.

“Everyone, we’re so happy you’re alright!” Vivi greeted them happily, waving as she lounged in Zoro’s arms. 

Sanji didn’t dare look at her, he just hid behind his bangs. He wanted to go to the Merry and cook, needed to get his mind off things. He couldn’t bear all of this. 

“Vivi, are you hurt?” Nami asked suddenly, voice tight with worry as she noticed Zoro carrying the princess. Vivi gave an awkward and embarrassed laugh before shrugging. 

“Heh, yeah, kinda. I was fighting and got tripped up by a marine. Hurt my ankle.” The princess was blushing pretty hard at her stupidity. She hated to be a liability. She was glad that her injury wasn’t that intense and would probably heal quickly.

She gave Nami a reassuring smile before looking beyond the redhead. She frowned softly, noticing the emotional state of the others. She had never seen Luffy that quiet, or Sanji for that matter.

“Sanji-san, are you alright?” She asked gently, sitting up a bit more in Zoro’s arms. Her heart twisted in unease as the cook refused to look at her. He was always pouring his attention on her and Nami, usually with hearts sparkling in his eyes. Why not now?

“Sanji isn’t feeling well,” Luffy replied to her question, voice low and stern. His tone sent a chill through the entire group. “We need to return to the ship.”

“Did he hurt his back?” Usopp chimed in curiously. Having the third strongest member of the group injured left him feeling anxious.

“Dumbass probably tripped over his own loose legs.” Zoro had only been insulting the cook’s extreme flexibility but his keen eyes hadn’t missed the blond’s violent flinch. Something in his belly turned sour as he watched the cook shyly close his legs tighter. There was a tremor to the other teen’s body that the swordsman didn’t like the look of.

His heart pounded hard as he noticed the sudden look Luffy was giving him from under his hat. The captain’s usually kind eyes held a thirst for vengeance and retaliation. The look ignited a protective instinct in the swordsman.

Someone had hurt their chef.

“Let’s go to the Merry.” Luffy commanded as he strode forward, taking lead. The rest quickly fell into place behind him. Zoro moved back to the back of the group, protecting the rear.

~*~z~*~

The trip back to the ship was short and paved in blood. Luffy’s anger boiled to the surface as he destroyed any marine that got in his way. Vicious and violent, he showed a side that some of the team had never seen. It scared them but Zoro watched his captain with pride.

Now they were free, out on the open sea.

Luffy, barefoot and furious, paced around the sleeping cabin. The others knew that he needed privacy, knew he needed to be left alone. They all respected this except for the only one that was welcome.

Zoro climbed down the ladder and landed on the floor with a thump of his boots. He frowned and watched his captain practically wear a hole in the floor. It had been a while since he had seen the younger teen this upset.

~*~z~*~

Sanji didn’t understand how he felt both numb and humiliated. He could feel their filth on his skin and inside of him. Still, he couldn’t regret his choice. With Vivi hurt, who knows when and if they would have been rescued.

Plus, wasn’t the loss of his virginity worth protecting Nami’s innocence?

Judging by the sexual hunger of that guard, how much longer would have the man held out before attacking the navigator? The very thought made Sanji sick to his stomach. At least this way, the sex had been consensual. 

“Gah!” Sanji cried out in pain, aching spine arching slightly. Tears stung his blue eyes as he gripped the sheets on the exam table. He bit his lip in pain and humiliation as he felt Chopper’s fingers inside of him.

The doctor was checking him for damage. Judging by the pain that just shot through the cook, it seemed he had found some. 

“Those bastards could have used something to ease the mating process.” The human reindeer sneered in frustration at the situation. He was trying to look at the situation with a clinical eye but it was difficult because the patient was someone he cared about. Sanji was like a big brother to him, always taking care of him and carrying him places or making him special snacks.

The doctor shrank down to his normal size and walked around the bed. His exam done, he washed his hooves before climbing onto the step-ladder beside the bed. He sat on the edge of the bed while Sanji rolled over to face him. The tiny reindeer snuggled into the blond’s arms as the cook hid under his bangs once more.

“Can I take a shower now, Chopper?” Sanji asked softly, voice hoarse from screaming and moaning like a bitch in heat. Some of it had been faked, some of it had been pain from the movement jostling his back, and some of it had been legitimate pleasure. He had felt some things he didn’t imagine could happen and they had led to his orgasm. 

He felt dirty. What would the old geezer think if he knew that Sanji had willingly spread his legs and let himself be fucked?

“Yeah, it’s okay. None of the tearing required stitches.” The doctor bit his lip anxiously, “Just, be careful.” Chopper snuggled closer against Sanji’s chest. The cook nodded and clung to the youngest crew member.

“I’m so sorry for making you treat me, Chopper.” Sanji was close to breaking, “Thank you.”

~*~z~*~

“Oi, Luffy.” Zoro’s voice was a soft rumble in his throat as he neared his captain. He sighed softly as he heard a broken whimper escape the younger teen. He stood still as Luffy practically threw himself into the swordsman’s arms.

The swordsman’s lavender eyes slipped shut as he heard the raven-haired boy begin to sob. His strong arms closed around Luffy, holding him protectively. He still didn’t know what had happened and he knew it wasn’t his place to ask.

It was his job to comfort.

He tenderly raised his captain’s chin and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Luffy sobbed harder and threw his arms around Zoro’s neck. He pulled closer to the older boy and needily returned the kiss.

“Luffy, what happened, sweetheart?” The vice-captain’s gruff voice grew softer as this became a moment between him and his boyfriend. He raised a strong hand up to lovingly card his fingers through his love’s ebony hair.

“I…” Those big sad eyes looked up at him, innocent and broken, “...Couldn’t protect Sanji.”

Zoro stayed quiet. He was slowly putting pieces together and it wasn’t making a pleasant picture, “Sanji’s strong enough to take care of himself.”

He got a headshake in reply. He felt rubber legs bounce up and wrap around his hips. The smaller teen’s form trembled in his arms and Zoro wanted to take away all Luffy’s worries. But how?

“Sanji’s hurt.” Luffy looked up at his boyfriend again, cupping the swordsman’s face, “But Zoro can make him feel better. Zoro will make Sanji happy again.”

Zoro blushed softly but he got his love’s hint. Luffy wasn’t asking for Zoro to be Sanji’s friend, that meaning wasn’t in Luffy’s tone. No, he was speaking of a physical relationship with the cook.

Zoro couldn’t deny the fact that he had told Luffy about his attraction to the cook.

“But what about us?” He asked softly, kissing his boyfriend sweetly, “You’re my boyfriend, Luffy.”

“Can’t he be our boyfriend too?” The young captain tilted his head to the side before booping his nose to Zoro’s, “Zoro’s snuggles make me feel better. They can make Sanji feel better too.”

Zoro nodded softly, understanding. Whatever had happened to the cook, it was bad enough to warrant Luffy’s dose of snuggles. Zoro supposed he could try. He owed the cook for taking care of their nakama.

“I’ll see what I can do, Babe.” Zoro lovingly kissed the scar under Luffy’s eye before he sat his captain on a hammock to rest.

~*~z~*~

The air in the ship’s shower slowly filled with steam. The water was warming up but Sanji was too tired to get up and wash. He was sitting on the edge of the tub, a short towel around his waist.

The cum and blood from careless penetration stained his thighs, reminding him of his stupid decision. He just kept staring at the filth clinging to his inner thighs. He wanted to use his nails to tear it from his skin but lacked the energy to do so.

He flinched violently as the door to shower room opened. He slowly looked up and glared viciously at his sudden companion. He raised his defenses for the jeers as he noticed it was Zoro.

The swordsman met his gaze a moment before looking down. He knew that the other teen was looking him over, knew Zoro was judging him. He followed that gaze down to the mess that the guards left on pale skin.

“Well, the fuck do you want, Shitty Marimo?!” He snapped angrily, hoping the steam in the room hid the tears that threatened to fall. He wished that the wait would end. Wished that the bastard would just start with the mocking insults already.

They never came.

Instead, Sanji watched in confusion as Zoro locked the door and walked towards him. Sanji didn’t mean to but he cowered away from his nakama slightly, feeling suddenly skittish around the much stronger male. His heart hammered as Zoro neared him.

“Nakama don’t hurt each other,” Zoro whispered softly as he knelt before the cook. He reached for the washcloth in the bucket of soapy water. He wrung it out and moved to touch the cook’s powerful leg, stopping before skin met skin. “Let me help?”

To Sanji, the room felt like it was spinning. The world must be going topsy turvy! Still, he found himself numbly nodding in acceptance.

The blond’s eyes widened in wonder as he watched his legs be gently spread. His chest clenched with fear but it quickly receded as Zoro only began to wash the mess from Sanji’s bruised skin. Each touch of the cloth was so light, Sanji never knew the bullheaded swordsman was capable of such tenderness.


	3. Chapter 3

“W-why?” Sanji whimpered shakily, tears clinging to his lashes. He just kept staring down at Zoro. The swordsman was tenderly bathing all of him. He was so gentle, so careful. Never once touching under the towel without permission. “S-say something al-already, You Shitty Swordsman!”

Sanji wanted to fight, needed to fight. He was so angry and scared. He didn’t understand why Zoro was doing this to him. Why was he being so kind?!

“I do-don’t want your f-fucking pity!” Sanji snarled viciously, the tears finally dripping down his red cheeks, “I wanted them to fuck me! I wasn’t r-raped, stop treating me like I w-was!”

The two suddenly froze as his words rang out in the room. The blond’s heart hammered in his chest, eyes wide. He watched Zoro kneeling there completely still. 

What had prompted those words from Sanji’s throat?

Zoro hadn’t accused him of being a victim. He hadn’t even treated him like one really. Hell, he hadn’t even said anything to Sanji since asking to help.

So, what had made the cook speak?

Sanji’s eyes widened, his body freezing up as Zoro still didn’t move. His heart slammed hard in his chest as those dark eyes slowly looked up at him. What was Zoro going to do to him?

“You have nothing to be pitied for, Cook,” Zoro told him plainly, while still washing the cook. Sanji was stunned. Those were not the words he had expected at all. He just couldn’t form words as Zoro started speaking once more, “You used what you had available in order to protect the captain, navigator, and doctor of this ship. You lost something priceless, but in return, you secured the lives and wellbeing of your crewmates. I will not pity you for going beyond your duty as cook, rather I will commend you and apologize for not being there to help.”

Sanji was stunned. He had never heard Zoro speak so much at one time. And the language was so strange compared to the usual.

It took him a moment to realize that this wasn’t his rival he was speaking to but rather the ship’s vice-captain.

Sanji’s lip quivered pitifully as he looked down. His hands weakly fisted in the material of the towel around his waist. Tears of frustration and suffering dripped down his cheeks as pent up emotions started to escape in ragged sobs.

The cook was crying so hard that he didn’t even flinch when he felt powerful arms wrap around him. His body was just wracked with sobs as his hands weakly fisted in Zoro’s wet shirt. He desperately curled against the swordsman, seeking comfort he didn’t know how to ask for.

Zoro stayed quiet though his heart ached for the blond. His eyes slid closed as he just held Sanji securely. His fingers lovingly carded through the silky hair. His free fingers stroked along the surgical scar on the cook’s spine.

“It’s okay to be scared and hurt, Sanji.” The words were whispered tenderly against Sanji’s ear. 

Sanji’s eyes shot open as his sobs turned to hiccups. He shakily looked up at Zoro, confused. Had the swordsman really just said his actual name. There was so jibe, no insult. “W-what?”

“Everyone gets scared or hurt or traumatized. That’s life. What makes it better is when you have someone there to help you through the pain.” The swordsman gazed down to lock eyes with the cook. They had always been rivals, had always been at each other’s throats. But that didn’t mean that Zoro didn’t notice and appreciate Sanji’s assets. The cook’s beauty, the cook’s power, and the cook’s excellent cooking were all aspects worth being entranced by.

Sanji could only stare at him with wide eyes. He was trembling as his shaken mind was struggling to comprehend all of this. He could only whimper and bite his lip as Zoro’s forehead was pressed to his. Zoro’s face was so close to his, their noses touching and their lips almost brushing together. 

Sanji’s mind was starting to short circuit at this. Was Zoro going to kiss him? Sanji didn’t want that, he liked girls. Didn’t he? Would it be so bad to be kissed by the stronger teen? Of course, it would! The hell was Sanji thinking?!

“C’mon. Let’s get you cleaned up.” Zoro grunted and pulled away to carefully clean the cook again. Sanji was left in stunned silence, going through an existential crisis, as he watched the washcloth be stroked down his foot.

~*~z~*~

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Nami whispered softly as she curled into Vivi’s side. Her arms wrapped around the princess, holding her close. Vivi smiled softly and looked down at her wrapped foot.

“I’m fine, really, Nami. Chopper says that it’ll get better soon.” Vivi lovingly pulled the older girl into her arms. The two girls snuggled close under the blankets on Nami’s futon. The princess frowned softly as she laid there.

“Nami, is Sanji-san alright?” She asked softly, worry and concern tinging her voice. She had never seen the cook act so strangely before and it was worrisome. What could have happened? 

“Sanji-kun is…” Nami started but found herself trailing off as she swallowed thickly. She clenched her eyes shut as she tried not to remember the sounds the blond had made. She didn’t want to think about him like that because then she had to remember that he did it to keep them safe. “...Not feeling well and it’s making him act weird.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I’m sure he’ll feel better soon.”  _ God, what a lie _ .

“A-alright then.” Vivi trailed off slightly. She could feel that there was more to the story. But it really was not her place to ask. Was it? “I do hope he feels better soon.”

“Me too, Vivi.” Nami smiled and shifted in the princess’ arms. She moved to wrap her arms around Vivi’s neck and brushed a few strands of hair out of her eyes. “We should really be focusing on you. What can we do to make you feel better?”

“That’s not necessary.” Vivi whispered softly with a blush. She smiled and dipped her head. She had been feeling more and more bashful around the navigator lately.

~*~z~*~

Sanji was blushing hard and seething with humiliation. His fingers trembled as they clutched at his towel, desperately keeping the cloth down to cover himself. There were tears of embarrassment in his eyes as he hid under his bangs.

“Ah!” He yelped softly in pleasure and his cock jerked against his will. He felt sick at his body’s reaction. The hell had those bastards done to him to make his body such a slut?!

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, Cook.” Zoro whispered softly as he eased his fingers out of the cook’s damaged anus. He had been carefully washing the residue of the guards from inside the blond. He hadn’t been surprised when his touches had caused the cook to get an erection but he could tell that Sanji hated it.

“Bu-but I…” Sanji trailed off, unable to form words.

Zoro washed his hands in the bathwater and straightened up. He slipped his hand under Sanji’s chin and made him look at him. He took a sad breath, upset at seeing one of his nakama so broken, “Cook… ...Sanji. It isn’t bad or wrong to feel nice when someone puts something up your ass. It just means your body’s working properly.”

“Wha?”

“Give me your hand.” Zoro put out his own hand and was honestly surprised when the blond’s delicate one was laid on his. He smiled softly and grabbed some of the ointment he had taken from Chopper for the cook. He slicked two of Sanji’s fingers in the stuff and gently moved them to the cook’s entrance.

“H-hey, what’re you doing?!” Sanji’s cheeks grew redder as he tried to process where his hand was going.

“I want to explain something to you.” Zoro met Sanji’s gaze and held it. “Do you trust me?”

Sanji stared into the swordsman’s lavender eyes and whimpered. He held his gaze before looking down, nodding. Zoro hadn’t hurt or mocked him yet. He had no reason not to trust him.

“Here.” Zoro gently guided Sanji’s slicked fingers into the cook’s damaged entrance. “Go slow. Not too hard or it’ll hurt.”

The penetration of the first finger stung because of the damage but past that, there was an odd sense of pleasure. It made Sanji whimper. He knew he was fucked up for real now because of what those bastards had done.

“How does it feel?” Zoro asked softly, watching the cook carefully.

“It feels…” Sanji whimpered. He wanted to pull his fingers out but it felt so good. “G-gross. It’s disgusting.”

“I don’t believe you. How does it really feel?”

“Feels…” Sanji hunched over and sobbed as the soft sensation in his ass felt too nice. “G-good. I hate it. How did they make me feel like this?”

“They didn’t.”

“What?!”

“That’s how your body’s supposed to feel.”

“Y-you’re lying, you shitty swordsman!”

“I’m not.” Zoro gently stroked Sanji’s hair to soothe him. “Humans have a lot of nerves down there. Upon penetration, when done properly, it causes great sexual pleasure. It is not shameful to feel the pleasure from there or to grow aroused. Try moving your finger.”

Sanji was hesitant but slowly did as he was told. He gave a small whimper then a low moan. Pleasure unfurled in his belly as he slowly fingered himself.

“Your body reacts to stimulation, even against its will. It is natural and not shameful. Any erection or orgasm you may have experienced this way was a natural reaction and does not need to be apologized for.” Zoro gently eased out Sanji’s finger. He washed the ointment from the blond’s hand. “Do you understand this?”

Sanji blinked and nodded. Logically, it did make sense and it even took away a bit of his self-loathing. Still, it was hard not to be mad himself for growing aroused, both during the event and even now when Zoro was washing him. What was he supposed to think about himself now?

“Cook. You’re not a bad person if you grow aroused from the same sex. It doesn’t mean you’re broken.” Zoro slowly stood and stripped off his soaked shirt. He tossed it to the side and turned off the shower.

Sanji watched him and swallowed thickly. He tried to shove down a feeling he had kept dormant since he was a child. A feeling he had been taught was bad but Zoro’s words had just revived. A feeling that made his cheeks heat up as he watched his nakama walk away to grab towels.

“Time to get out of the bath.” Zoro grunted, returning with the dry towels. “Your pale skin’s turning red and starting to make you look like a lobster.”

“Right.” Sanji whispered and bowed his head as Zoro helped him to his feet. Sanji’s back was killing him and the strain was making his legs feel weak. All the power in his legs was worthless so long as his spine was messed up.

He clung to the other teen and turned his face away. He tried not to tremble as he felt Zoro dry him. He wished that this Zoro would become the norm. Sanji just didn’t feel like fighting him this week. But he knew that wouldn’t happen. Once they left the safety of the show, he knew that the swordsman would return to his normal self.

“You’re safe now, Cook.” Zoro whispered as he gently dragged the towel up the blond’s lean back. There was a predatory tinge to the tone. A protective need rearing up in him. 

He would keep the blond safe from this ever happening again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments and kudos so far. They've really been keeping up my will to write. ^^

_ "The captain wants to see you." _ The swordsman's word echoed in Sanji's head as he stood alone in the bathroom. His hands trembled as he struggled to slip his buttons through their holes on his favorite mustard yellow dress shirt. He swallowed dryly, unable to stop thinking about what Zoro had said.

He had said "captain wants to see you" not "Luffy wants to see you". That had to mean that the younger teen was pissed at him. Zoro had been in vice-captain mode and Luffy was in captain mode. That only happened when emotions were high.

A soft whimper curled up in Sanji's throat and he choked on it. Panic started to claw its way inside his heart. What was Luffy mad about? That Sanji had traded sex to the enemy for freedom? Did... Did Luffy want him to leave?

After all, the King of Pirates shouldn't have a whore for a crewmate.

Sanji scrunched his eyes shut as another whimper started to bubble up. He was so scared. He didn't want to leave the Merry, it was his home now. Surely there had to be some way to right this wrong to his captain's ego! 

His hands were shaking far too much to continue buttoning his shirt. It was only buttoned from about halfway and downwards. The relatively open shirt allowed a good view of his chest and collarbone.

He opened his eyes to look at it and frowned. He didn't have the body type to pull off this look. On Zoro, it would have looked sexy and masculine. But not Sanji, no he knew it made him look like a slut. The others would think he was just showing off his goods if he wore his shirt like this.

He bowed his head and looked down at his precious hands. Their trembling betrayed him. He couldn’t seem to get them to do what he wanted them to. He felt so very useless. Still, he tried to hold onto Zoro’s words from earlier. The swordsman had basically said he was proud of Sanji because the cook had protected the crew. It was more heartening than the blond ever thought it would be to get a compliment from the mosshead.

He took a shaky breath and straightened out his shirt. That was something even his shaking hands could do. He had made up his mind. He was going to go out there and take his captain’s anger like a man. He had done his duty, anything that happened next would never change the sacrifice that Sanji had given.

~*~

Sanji would admit that he was stalling. He was terrified of facing Luffy. He didn’t want to lose this family that had found him. Being the cook of Straw Hat Luffy meant everything to him now.

“Sanji-san?” Sanji couldn’t help the flinch that came in response to the voice greeting him. He swallowed thickly and slowly turned to see Vivi standing a few feet away. His heart pounded as he just stared at her, unsure of what to say and horrified that perhaps Nami had told her everything.

“Are you feeling any better?” The princess asked softly, limping over to him. She reached out a hand and tenderly rested it on his arm. Sanji wanted to react, wanted to swoon and tell her that everything was alright.

But he couldn’t.

He felt like crying. He didn’t feel right inside. He felt lonely and more than a little dirty. It didn’t matter how much he told himself the sacrifice was worth it, he couldn’t stop the crawling feeling under his skin. He just wanted it to go away!

“Shhh…. It’s okay.” Vivi whispered softly and Sanji could feel her arms embrace him. He didn’t even realize he was sobbing until she started to coo sweetly to him and stroke his hair. She held him close and he found himself clinging to her for comfort. She felt so small in his arms but her kindness was so large and so warm he felt completely safe there with her.

He knew she would make a brilliant queen one day.

“It’s okay to not feel okay.” Vivi whispered softly, keeping him safe in her arms. “You don’t have to tell me what happened and you don’t even have to feel okay. Just know that we all love you.”

Sanji’s eyes slowly drifted open as his sobs turned to hiccups. He sniffled softly and just stared at the blue waves of her hair. She was beautiful and calming. He could easily see why Nami loved her. They had barely known Vivi very long but she felt like one of them so easily.

“Thank you, Vivi-chan.” He whispered brokenly, shakily wiping his eyes. Her kind words and affection meant the world to his shattered spirit. He could only imagine what her gift of kindness would do for her country.

The cook slowly straightened up, slipping out of her arms. The princess smiled softly and looked up at him, a gentle look in her eye. She took his hand slowly, her’s looking so much smaller than his own.

“Vivi-chan, you shouldn’t be walking around.” The blond’s voice was tinged in concern. He had seen her limp and remembered her being carried by Zoro. He hoped she had not been injured too badly.

She laughed softly and shook her head. “I know but staying cooped up in Chopper’s infirmary felt like I was intruding. I really do hate to be a bother.”

“You’re never a bother.” Sanji smiled tiredly, squeezing her hand gently. “We all love having you here.” Vivi seemed to have a calming effect on him. He felt a little calmer, a little braver. It helped to know that she didn’t know about his pain.

The princess smiled brightly and was about to say something where the two suddenly heard a squeaky cry of outrage from Chopper. The princess and the cook cringed as the tap of tiny hooves sounded over the deck.

Sanji smiled tiredly as he watched the newest member of the crew scold the beautiful blue-haired girl. There was soft apologies and explanations as to why Vivi had left the infirmary. There were grumpy reindeer noises from Chopper before he switched to heavy point and scooped Vivi up. The princess giggled and waved goodbye as she was carried back to the infirmary to rest her foot.

The small interlude was enough to let some calm settle into Sanji’s spirit. He didn’t feel quite so broken anymore. He was still scared of Luffy’s judgment but he felt a bit more courage to face it now. He trusted his captain and his command. Sanji would accept whatever verdict the younger teen decided on.

~*~z~*~ 

The cold stone of fear settled in Sanji’s belly as he climbed the ladder down into the men’s sleeping quarters.  His mouth felt dry as he swallowed down his panic once more. The soles of his shoes clapped against the hardwood floor of the sleeping area and he turned towards the occupants of the room.

What waited before him was honestly a frightening sight.

Luffy sat on a wooden bench against the wall. His back was straight but his hat was tilted down to cloak his eyes in shadow. To his right, Zoro stood tall with his arms crossed. His expression was harder to read than usual. The entire image left Sanji feeling uneasy.

“Neh, Sanji.” Luffy started slowly and the cook swallowed down a whimper that wanted to escape. The captain was talking and his tone was not a happy one. He slowly raised his head enough for one eye to be visible under the brim of his hat. “I thought I told you to never do something stupid again without talking to me first.”

Sanji flinched a bit. Luffy was still pissed about the avalanche and the stunt Sanji pulled. The unending ache in the cook’s spine was a bitter reminder. And now once more he had disobeyed a direct order from his captain.

“I… I apologize, Captain.” Sanji replied softly, anxiety and guilt unfurling in his belly. He felt a bit sick. “I had to protect my nakama.”

“No!” Luffy stood and stamped his foot down, the sound of his flip-flop hitting the floor actually only adding to the intensity of the action. The smaller boy stood tall, making the blond want to cower slightly but refusing. “That is my job! And Zoro’s job.”

The frustration and anger in Luffy’s voice actually did make Sanji flinch away this time. This earned a small frown from Zoro but it was gone seconds later. Sanji could feel the denouncement from the crew coming.

But then something unexpected happened.

Luffy’s bottom lip started to quiver. His hands clenched at his sides and started to tremble. He slowly raised his chin to gaze up at Sanji, the look in his eyes was utterly defeated. Sanji’s first instinct was to rush forward and comfort the smaller boy but didn’t dare move with Zoro standing so close.

“I am supposed to protect everyone.” Luffy whimpered softly, eyes tearing up as he locked gazes with Sanji. “B-but I was too weak and Sanji got hurt.”

Sanji gasped as his captain was suddenly wrapping arms around him. The straw hat tipped back as Luffy buried his face in Sanji’s chest. Strong fingers clenched in the silky material of Sanji’s dress shirt. The raven-haired boy mewled brokenly before whispering. “I don’t like it when you get hurt. Was supposed to protect you.”

Sanji’s heart broke as he heard the pain in Luffy’s voice. The boy was always supposed to be happy. That’s what felt right in the world. This level of pain is never something their captain should have to experience.

“I’m sorry, Luffy.” The blond whispered softly, arms slowly wrapping around the smaller teen. He curled downwards slightly, holding Luffy tight to his chest. It was times like these that reminded the crew just how young they all were. “Please don’t worry. I’m okay.”

There was a fierce shake of the captain’s head. Luffy slowly looked up at the blond. His eyes were sad and he pressed up against the other teen desperately. “Got hurt and scared. Gonna take care of you.” Those strong arms wrapped around him tighter but were careful of his back. “You’re mine and Zoro’s now.”

Sanji’s eyes widened in shock at the words. He wasn’t being cast off the ship? What exactly was happening here? What did Luffy mean Sanji belonged to them?!

“Oi, Luffy.” Zoro grunted and unfolded his arm. He stepped forward and reached out towards the younger boy. “You can’t just claim someone like that. You have to ask first.”

Sanji’s stared in shock as he watched Zoro’s powerful fingers lovingly stroke along the side of the captain’s throat. That was a lover’s touch if he had ever seen one. Where the two together?! Sanji honestly didn’t know the two had enough stealth to hide such a big thing.

“Ask me what?” The cook inquired weakly, feeling very frazzled and confused. There was so much to take in right now. What was happening here?

Luffy sniffled and looked up, grinning brightly at Sanji. He pressed up close to him, love in his eyes. “Neh, Sanji, be our boyfriend!”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for how late and short this is. School's been hard and my family's been sick. Thank you for your comments and kudos. They brighten my day and encourage me to keep writing.

The world had suddenly just screeched to a halt for Sanji. Shock boiled up in his chest and left him breathless. His wide eyes could only stare at them unblinking. Had he heard those words correctly?

"Boy… Boyfriend." He was struggling to function. He dragged his gaze to his captain's throat where the swordsman's finger still stroked tenderly. How could he not have known about them? Why did it not make him as squirmy as it should have?

"Y-you two are dating?" He asked softly, trying to find his voice again. There was so much happening that he was struggling to function. He found that he needed to cling to a single piece of information and go from there.

"Yup!" Luffy's smile could light up a cave with how bright it was. His earlier anger had fled as the conversation softened in subject. It was a clear indication that the captain hadn't called Sanji here to reprimand him but that was still hard to believe.

"We've been together since the week he rescued me," Zoro said plainly, his hard expression softening. A soft blush dusted the swordsman's cheeks as Luffy turned to snuggle into Zoro's side, practically dripping affection.

"Dating?" Sanji was struggling to actually form sentences as he watched them. He shifted, something in him twisted and curdled with discomfort. His throat felt dry and his skin crawled under his clothes. "Dating each other?"

"Yup!" Luffy giggled happily as Zoro leaned down a bit to playfully kiss the side of Luffy's throat. The captain's hat flopped down over his face as he reacted to this love's affection.

Sanji blinked slowly as he watched the scene. He felt like the world was moving slowing as he lacked comprehension. He had come here expecting to be verbally ripped apart and then be thrown off the ship for being a gay whore. The very thought frightened him.

Instead, he was here witnessing new sides of his captain and vice-captain. He had never seen either of them be intimate with anyone, never shown a romantic interest. Hell, he had known them for months now and had no inkling they were together. They were so… ...soft together!

"An-and you want me to w-what?" Something was wrong with him. He could feel himself starting to shut down mentally.

"Be our boyfriend." Luffy pulled away from Zoro and moved closer to Sanji. He reached out and gently took Sanji's hands, raising them. He smiled softly again and pressed a sweet kiss to the cook's palms. More giggles burst from Luffy's lips as he then nuzzled into the cook's precious hands.

"N-no! It's wrong!" Sanji yelled as he felt the sweet kisses to his skin. He jerked back from Luffy, stumbling backwards. He shook his head as Zoro gave his a cautious glare but Luffy just looked sad. Sanji wanted to apologize but couldn't function enough to make it happen.

He was reeling from all the information intake. His vision was darkening around the edges as he struggled to force air into his lungs. He yelped and flinched violently as Zoro lunged forwards, strong arms wrapped around the blond securely. It did little quell the panic in Sanji's chest. He could feel the phantom pain on his face from a fist lost in childhood memories.

"Oi, Cook! Settle down." Zoro's voice rumbled as he held Sanji tightly in his arms. The cook was thrashing about so the swordsman gently cradled him to his chest. Sad lavender eyes looked over at Luffy, desperate for help.

Luffy's expression turned serious and cold as he stepped up to them. He stroked Sanji's hair and leaned in, kissing his cheek. He nuzzled him and whispered softly, "Neh, Sanji, you're my cook."

Darkness and panic had not swallowed Sanji whole yet. Hadn't engulfed him in the crushing bleak of memories entirely. The sound of his captain's voice, words claiming ownership, broke through that shadow. It gave the blond something solid to cling to, a grip to claw his way out of the pitch.

He blinked rapidly, reality starting to settle around him. He gasped desperately, air filling his lungs a little easier. It took him several moments to feel the hot moisture on his cheeks and the loving hand petting his hair. His vision cleared and he looked to the side to see Luffy smiling brightly at him. From there, Sanji's gaze shifted up to look into his rival's concerned face. He felt cold inside, feeling too meek to even yell insults at the swordsman.

"Cook, you okay?" Zoro asked cautiously, keeping his deep voice low and unintimidating.

Sanji looked at Zoro a bit brokenly, "I… I don't know." His voice was but a whisper. It was soft, scared. He felt uneasy and confused. He knew it was wrong, had had the point beaten into him as a child. He could remember being little, before the comfort of the Baratie, when he had mentioned how handsome a passing soldier was. His sire's fist had descended upon his cheek hard and fast.

"It… It's wrong." Sanji whispered again, eyes looking a little glassy. He watched Zoro's gaze turn sorrowful and a sigh escaped the swordsman. He could tell his rival was about to say something but their captain spoke first.

"It's only wrong if you don't like the touches you're getting," Luffy said confidently and took Sanji's precious hand. He smiled and nuzzled his face into the soft skin of Sanji's palm.

The cook blinked at those words. Childlike innocence met profound wisdom in that moment for Sanji. He could only stare at the younger teen lovingly nuzzling into his hand. How could it be wrong when the mutual love and consent was there?

Could his sire have lied to him? Maybe. The man was usually brutally honest but was also prejudice.

Those precious chocolate eyes looked up at him now with all the love in the world. Seeing Luffy look at him with such adoration was doing things to Sanji. It made his heart flutter as he bashfully looked away. There was a strange bubbling and soft sensation inside the longer Luffy looked at him.

"Does Sanji like my and Zoro's touches?" Luffy asked curiously. He slowly reached out and rested his hand on Sanji's chest. He didn't grope or stroke just laid his hand there. He was letting Sanji take it in.

Sanji stood there blinking, cradled against Zoro's chest. He focused on how all the contact made him feel. The strong embrace of Zoro's powerful arms around him made him feel small yet safe. Being pressed against the swordsman's body filled his own with heat. And the touch to his chest as his hand was held made him feel loved, cared about.

"Yes." He whispered softly, smiling shakily. "I think I like them very much."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit short. I apologize. Struggling with end of semester homework.

“If you like it then it’s okay. If it doesn’t feel good, then it’s time to stop.” Luffy grinned, his hands moving up to lovingly cup Sanji’s face. He pressed up against him but it was nothing more than Luffy’s usual clinginess. “That’s what Zoro taught me.” 

Sanji blinked at this and looked up at the swordsman in confusion. Zoro put the cook back on his feet and moved to hug Luffy. He grunted and held his captain close as Sanji kept looking at him questioningly.

“Luffy’s asexual.” Zoro supplied flatly as he pressed a soft kiss to Luffy’s hair. “He doesn’t like to be touched sexually. It makes him really upset. If he’s relaxed enough, he can touch me but that’s rare. Mostly our affection is non-sexual.”

This surprised Sanji a great deal. Considering how much Zoro worked out, he had to have the stamina of a couple dozen horses! This was really hard for the cook to even comprehend. “So, wait, you two don’t have sex?”

The two shook their heads in reply and Luffy gave an uneasy smile. He looked shyly at Sanji but turned to snuggle into Zoro’s arms. “We tried fucking once.” The captain said softly. “But it didn’t feel good. I didn’t like it. I like it when Zoro snuggles me better.”

“No sex.” This seemed surreal to him. Everything he had ever heard associated sex with a healthy relationship. Yet theirs had been going strong for months.

“None.” Zoro confirmed as he wrapped an arm lovingly around Luffy’s ribs. He sweetly kissed the younger teen’s hair but still kept eye contact with Sanji. “Cook, what we’re trying to say is that we want you as our boyfriend. We can see your views on this kind of relationship. I know that gay sex is a big scary step but it doesn’t have to be the first step or even a step in general?”

“What?” Sanji felt spacy. He blinked rapidly, looking over at Zoro. 

“It means you can be our boyfriend but you don’t have to commit to sex. It’s that simple.”

“I… I don’t know.” Sanji whispered softly, hunching in on himself. He swallowed thickly, his trembling fingers clenching in the material of his sleeve. This felt even more wrong. He was dirty now, so very dirty. He couldn’t let that get on his captain and vice captain.

“We’re not forcing you, Shithead. But I am warning you that you know how Luffy is when he makes up his mind.” There was a smirk to Zoro’s voice that made Sanji’s heart thrum. 

The blond looked them over. He shifted from Zoro’s smirk to Luffy’s grin. He knew very well how Luffy’s conviction worked. Memories of their first meeting were enough to remind Sanji that Luffy didn’t take no for an answer.

“How…?” He hung his head. Tears stung his eyes and bile rose in his throat. He wanted another shower. He wanted to scrub the filth from his anus again.

“How what, Sanji?” Luffy pulled away from Zoro and moved to Sanji. He wrapped his arms around the blond and snuggled into his side.

“How could you e-ever want me after w-what I did?” Tears clung to blond lashes. Sanji’s throat swallowed convulsively. He felt wrong inside.

“How could I not want you after that?” Luffy smiled sweetly and forced Sanji’s arms apart. He took Sanji’s hands and kissed the cook’s palms. “You took care of us. Kept Nami and Chopper safe.” 

The captain giggled and smiled as he picked up the cook suddenly, making Sanji gasp. The cook’s lean muscular frame was a simple task to lift for the younger teen’s immense strength. Those dark chocolate eyes were full of tender affection as he gazed up at Sanji like the cook made up the entire world.

“You don’t have to say yes,” Zoro said softly. “But keep in mind that this is Luffy. He’d rather throw himself in the ocean than hurt you.”

Sanji’s heart ached and a soft whimper escaped him. He bit his lip and trembled in Luffy’s strong arms. His eyes misted up and he shakily wrapped his arms around himself. The world and their positions in it started to fall away, leaving him feeling naked and laid bare.

“I-I’m scared.” The words were weakly forced past his lips. He felt sick and his back hurt. He felt like he was going to crumble.

“Scared is normal after trauma,” Zoro reassured softly. He reached out, cupping Sanji’s jaw and wiping away a tear with his thumb. He refused to let his rivalry with the cook keep him from comforting his nakama. “We’ve told you what we want. Now it’s time for you to express what you need.”

Express what he needed. That was not a familiar concept to Sanji. He had always put others before himself. Because everyone else was worth more. But he had been offered freedom, causing the foundations of his facade to crumble.

“I-I want to f-feel clean.” His voice croaked, sticky and constricted with emotion. He looked down at his captain and his sparse tears turned to sobs. His hands lowered to Luffy’s shoulders, fisting in the material of his vest. “I… I want to be loved.”

There was no gleeful glint of triumph in the captain’s eye. There was only a serious look of understanding. He said nothing and simply shifted Sanji in his arms. He cradled the cook protectively against his chest as if Sanji were actually smaller than himself. 

There was something oddly comforting about the possessive vibe Sanji felt from Luffy. He let his eyes slip shut as he nestled his face against the younger teen’s throat. His fear was soothed by the feeling of belonging that he felt from his two companions.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I completely apologize for how fuckin' late this is! ; ;  
> I've been having a really hard time with my depression and stress because I will be moving to a new town hopefully within the next month or so. I know this story is taking forever and I truly appreciate every comment and kudo I get. They mean so much to mean and all the comments are so uplifting, they inspire me to keep writing this story. I thank you all so much!

Nami hummed sadly as she slowly cut cucumbers lengthwise in thin slices. She felt wrong being here in the galley. It was Sanji’s domain and she felt like she was trespassing. Still, she had volunteered herself to make meals while Sanji was recovering. 

Because who could recover so quickly from letting that happen to them?

“God, why is he so stupid?” Tears clung to her eyelashes. She tried to be angry at him but she couldn’t. She was angry at herself for not doing more to stop him. She should have said something more, should have gotten up and pulled him to her. Anything to stop him from giving them his body.

“Nami?” A soft voice called from the doorway of the galley startled the redhead. She quickly blinked back her tears and wiped her eyes. She forced on a fake smile and turned towards the speaker.

“Hi sweetie.” She cooed to the princess standing in the doorway. The look on the other girl’s face concerned her. “Vivi, what’s wrong?”

“I’m concerned about Sanji-san.” Vivi replied softly. Using a set of crutches, she made her way into the kitchen. She neared Nami, eyes sad. “No one will tell me what happened to him but I know that something did. He’s acting strangely and I think he needs a break.”

“A break?” Her girlfriend’s words confused Nami. She put the lid on the food she was making before turning to give Vivi her full attention. “What kind of break, Sweetheart?”

“There’s a small island coming up soon.” Vivi replied as she sat down on one of the dining chairs. “I strongly believe we need to stop there for at least a week.”

Nami’s eyes snapped open wide at these words. “Vivi, but what about your home?!”

A look of sorrow passed over the princess’ features. “Yes, my home is in danger. But so is my friend. I don’t know what Sanji-san is dealing with but whatever it is, it’s hurt him deeply. He deserves better than that. He deserves to be taken care of and protected. So, I want to go to the island to let him recover from whatever is bothering him.”

“I…” Nami paused, closing her eyes and remembering the sounds the blond had made during his session with the guards. It made her sick. “I completely understand, Viv. I’ll make the boys head for the island.”

“Thank you, darling.”

~*~z~*~

How tears slowly slid down Sanji’s pale cheek. His eyes were closed, blond eyelashes sticky from the tears already. He lay curled up in a nest of blankets, head resting on his captain’s lap. He was barely awake, stress and emotional exhaustion stealing his energy. Still, he could feel gentle fingers card through his hair.

A soft blush painted his cheeks as he felt a blanket be tucked in around him. He felt lost, conflicted. The damage of his biological father’s words still resonated in him and conflicted with the soft touches from his captain. He didn’t understand why, but he felt safe lying beside the younger teen.

The blond didn’t know what he was doing but he wiggled out of the tucked blanket. He rolled onto his belly and pressed his face against Luffy’s hip, whimpering softly. His arms wrapped around his captain, trembling as he just laid there.

“What’s wrong?” Luffy asked, looking down at his cook curiously. He was concerned but it was difficult for Luffy to articulate that.

“I… I don’t know,” Sanji whispered honestly. He felt all jumbled up inside. He didn’t know which feelings were right and which ones were wrong. He just wanted to sleep and not think about anything. He just wanted to sob his eyes out until the exhaustion dragged him down into the depths of sleep.

“Nami and Zoro tell me that it’s alright to not feel happy all the time.” Luffy offered as he stroked his fingers through the cook’s hair. “That it’s okay to feel lonely or sad or just not okay when you’re upset.”

“I feel like a burden, Luffy.”

“That’s silly, Sanji. Burdens don’t cook or make people smile or give really good snuggles when their captain’s lonely.” Luffy said matter-of-factly. His heart hurt that Sanji was unhappy and he couldn’t fix it. He was at a loss and wished he was smarter to deal with these kinds of matters.

“My back hurts and no matter how I lay nothing seems to help,” Sanji whispered weakly, playing with a loose string on Luffy’s shorts. “How am I supposed to be useful like this?”

“Then take a break!” Luffy offered quickly. Sanji was about to retort but Luffy spoke up too quickly. “Captain’s orders. Sanji has to rest and be pampered for a whole week.”

“Luffy.” Sanji sighed softly, exasperated but Luffy shook his head.

“Captain’s orders, Sanji.” Luffy defiantly, crossing his arms to get his point across even though Sanji couldn’t see him.

“What are you two idiots doing?” Zoro asked softly as he climbed down into the sleeping cabin. In one hand he held a soft ice pack and a small jar of medicinal cream. He raised an eyebrow at the two, walking over to them.

“Sanji’s trying to defy Captain’s Orders.” Luffy pouted cutely.

“What was the order?”

“He’s not allowed to be useful for one week.” Luffy raised his nose, trying to look regal and in charge. 

Zoro rolled his eyes as he sat down, leaning over and kissing Luffy’s hairline. He was going to make a usual quip about the cook’s lack of usefulness but stopped himself. He knew Sanji was mentally extremely fragile at the moment. Any ill-timed comment could push him over the edge of despair. He had known for some time now that the cook suffered from depression and was honestly impressed that it was so well hidden from the others. Judging by the crap Sanji had said earlier, Zoro finally understood why the other teen was so depressed most days. Smothering the self killed the spirit.

“Sounds reasonable,” Zoro grunted instead, kneeling down beside Sanji. “Settle.” His voice was soft, gentle. He pulled back the blanket and rucked Sanji’s shirt out of his slacks. He grimaced when the cook flinched violently.

“I’m not gonna hurt you, Sanji.” The swordsman made his voice a bit gentler as he spoke the words. “Chopper gave me some pain meds for you.”

Sanji was stiff, starting to tremble. He didn’t understand why having his shirt untucked by someone else was so frightening. He whimpered softly, clutching at Luffy’s vest. He hid his face against his captain’s stomach, trying to calm himself. The tension didn’t leave his body until he realized that Zoro wasn’t taking off his pants. He felt ashamed and dirty for even thinking that his nakama might try to pull something while he was hurt. They weren’t like that.

They weren’t skeevy sleezes like him.

“You’re safe.” Zoro whispered softly as he scooped up a bit of the medicated numbing cream. He gently began to rub into Sanji’s lower back. He smirked softly when a trembling mewl of relief escaped his rival. Chopper was a genius with his medicines. This cream seemed to be no different with how fast it was working on the cook.

As Zoro worked, Sanji’s mind began to drift. He sniffled and snuggled his face against Luffy for comfort. He could feel his captain’s, no, his boyfriend’s fingers in his hair. Yes, that’s right. He had said yes. They had offered him intimacy and companionship through the form of a relationship and he had accepted.

They were both his boyfriends now.

That was such an odd thing to realize. An odder thing was to realize that he didn’t know how to be a boyfriend. Because before the incident with the marines, Sanji had been a virgin in many aspects. He had never had sex, had never even been in a relationship before. He was even terrible at masturbating. Was that even a thing? It just never felt right whenever he had touched himself. But what the marines had done had felt good and Zoro fingering him in the shower had felt extremely good. 

God, what was wrong with him? Neither of those events had been supposed to feel pleasurable. The first one was a gangbang with consent under duress and the second had just been a friend cleaning out the filth from the first. God, he was such a gross freak! How could someone as pure as Luffy stand touching him?!

“All done, Sanji.” Luffy cooed sweetly, strong fingers massaging at Sanji’s shoulders. “Did Zoro do a good job? Does Sanji feel better?”

It took a moment for Luffy’s words to register. Sanjie blinked slowly and nodded, hugging Luffy tighter. His back felt so much better, most of the ache was gone. But because of that, he was scared to move and hurt it again. 

“It feels wonderful. Thank you both.” He whispered softly, nuzzling Luffy’s thin hip.

“Don’t hesitate to ask for more if it starts hurting again,” Zoro grunted softly, pulling Sanji’s shirt down again.

“I’m tired and so is Sanji.” Luffy said matter-of-factly as he ruffled Sanji’s hair. “Let’s take a nap, Sanji. Me and you!”

The suggestion didn’t scare Sanji as much as he had expected it too. He had slept with Luffy in his hammock with him before. It had always been on nights where Zoro was hurt the worst, which made a lot more sense now.

“That sounds lovely, Luffy.” Sanji shifted to get up but didn’t get the chance. He blushed softly as Zoro gently scooped him, cradling him close. His blush grew deeper as Zoro pressed a tender kiss to his forehead before walking over to the hammocks.

Luffy smiled brightly and crawled into the hammock first. Sanji was then carefully laid beside him. The young captain immediately wrapped around the cook and snuggled him. Sanji couldn’t help his eyes drifting shut as he wrapped an arm around his beloved captain.


End file.
